Friday, 12 May 2017

Being a new parent | Expectations vs Reality



When you're expecting you get many people giving you both solicited and unsolicited advice, some to scare you and others are genuinely trying to help you. Since becoming a parent for the first time, I've noticed that the expectations I had due to either research of my own, people telling me their experiences and advice or even watching other babies, wasn't necessarily what happened to me. In this post I will be comparing 11 of my expectations of being a new parent versus what the reality was for us.

1. Expectation

My baby will sleep through the night once he gets to [insert week/month]. I mean, Sally kept on bragging about how much of a good sleeper her baby was at 6 weeks so it'll probably be the same for us.

1. Reality

It's 2 am and you're sitting there thinking about that time Sally told you that her baby was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, and how she must've been lying as this is the flipping 2nd time this night that you have had to wake up to put your baby back to bed. Like seriously... 6 weeks... Girl you lying...

2. Expectation

When baby is here we will attend every group there is and we will be extremely sociable and make loads of mummy friends.

2. Reality

9;30... that's the time that a lot of mummy groups start at and okay I guess that's not extremely early and it helps those who have more than one child, but when you've been up all night or you just want to take it easy in the morning that time ain't working. Also, mummy groups aren't always suitable for your little one if he/she is too small and sleeps all day and sometimes not all groups make you feel welcome :/

3. Expectation

Maternity leave will be like a holiday. I mean I'll have so much free time.

3. Reality

Let me tell you... I have never appreciated SAHM more than I do now being on my "maternity leave". I mean free time... what's that? I have no free time!! When Eli was younger I would do some housework and look at him all the time and just enjoyed that blissful time, the older he got, the less time I had. They want to play more and they need more attention as they start to move more. When you're not with them you're cleaning the house or trying to find some time to eat, doing shopping etc etc It's not an easy job and it's not for everyone I mean... people get payed to do this job and they come home shattered... how do you think we feel?

4. Expectation

I will instantly fall in love with him and I will never want to leave him.

4. Reality

I mean for me, that was true. I love spending time with Eli and especially at the start I couldn't imagine being away from him but it can get a bit much sometimes for some people and I know that it's not the same for every mum.

5. Expectation
I will buy him all these cute designer clothes and he will look cute all the time.

5. Reality

Have you ever been with a baby? Are you a millionaire? Because that's what you'll have to be in order to dress your baby in cute designer clothes all the time, everyday. Babies go through so many changes a day due to poo explosions or spit up or when they get older and they start to eat, I mean... you put a bib on, and try to be careful and then your baby will just have a mini wee "fit" and the food goes everywhere. On top of that do you know how fast they grow? like overnight, literally!! It's crazy one day he fits a 6 month vest and the next day its too tight. Also putting them in all these cute outfits etc isn't always very comfortable for them so for me it was cheap but quality clothes that did us best.

6. Expectation

If co-sleeping- It'll be very easy to move my baby to his own bed when he's ready.

6. Reality

When he's ready... I like that phrase but reality is some children aren't ready until they're 8 years old!!! I mean... that's a long time. If it works for you then it works for you, but I will say though that you might have to do it before they're ready.

7. Expectation

I'll never let my baby watch TV

7. Reality

When you literally have no time or space to have your breakfast because your baby is attached to you 24/7 you might just resort to this. I'm not saying I leave my baby glued to the TV and then just go on doing things while he's stuck in front of it but if I need to get up and make lunch for 10 minutes, then why not?  Doesn't make me a bad parent... just means I need to eat!!


8. Expectation

My body will get back into shape in no time, especially if breastfeeding as my weight will just drop off

8. Reality

"Your weight will just drop off', hahahahahaha!!! The amount of times I heard that and the amount of times I wished it were true, but for me... nope. I breastfed and still am and I haven't dropped off a flippin thing. Nope still got my pouch and handles and bingo wings and fatty legs. The only reason I'm not crying in my room at the state of my body is because I get to see that beautiful little face that "did this to me" every day. Every time I see him smiling up at me I think, 'I may look like this... but I have you', and it makes it all worth it, but dang people!! why you gotta lie like that?!? had me hoping and everything...

9. Expectation

We will have a routine and we will always be on time and on schedule.

9. Reality

Routine... What's that? On time... whats that? Oh... yeah I remember... see it was so long ago that I experienced such a thing that I couldn't even remember.

10. Expectation

My baby will never have rants like that in public

10. Reality
...

11. Expectation

Breastfeeding will come naturally to me, and it'll be very easy.

11. Reality

At first breastfeeding was a little hard, because Eli was so hungry and I wasn't producing enough milk or colostrum, as he had just been born, in order to satisfy him and so he wasn't sleeping at all. The midwives had to feed him a little formula so that he was satisfied enough to be able to go to sleep. When we came home though my milk started to flow very well like water shooting out of a squirt gun, to the point where Eli had to try to catch up but sometimes... booby won.

I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I loved writing it. There were so many of these that I could't write them all down so I will write another post with more new parent expectations vs reality at a later date. If you can think of some that I haven't mentioned or had some similar to mine please comment below to let me know. If you love blog posts like then make sure to subscribe to my email list so you never miss a post in the future.

So, until next time...

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